SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES

Single parenting is tough. It's like you are having two full-time jobs at once. Family and friends will probably come to you to offer advice, tips, and suggestions. Yet there will still be times when you'll doubt yourself if you can do parenting alone. The following self-help books might help you bring in the confidence you need to raise your child and build a family in a single parent family/household setting:

1. The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns by Andrea Engber and Leah Klungness, Ph.D. - Authored by two single mothers, this guidebook offers comprehensive and practical information that for single mothers to help them overcome daily challenges with courage and dignity. The book includes useful tips on how to manage finances, handle legal matters, plan career, enhance social life, reach out to support groups, and deal with family members.

2. Positive Discipline for Single Parents by Jane Nelsen - A positive, a classic and commonsense approach to instilling discipline in a single parent family, Positive Discipline for Single Parents is aimed at guiding parents in raising a responsible, respectful, and resourceful child. This book is co-authored by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D, a licensed marriage, family, and child therapist.

3. Head of Household: Money Management for Single Parents by Kara Stefan - Covering eleven primary concerns of single parent today, Head of Households is a definitive book on financial management in a single parent home. The book is written by a veteran financial writer who is as a single parent knows the financial pitfalls of raising a child and building a family alone. Combining her experiences as financial writer and single mother, the author created a resourceful, level-headed and hilarious guide a single parent will need in daily life. 

4. Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide by Mikki Morrisette - Whether you are still thinking about being a single mother by choice or you are in the middle of a pregnancy/adoption, there will be moments where you will have doubts, worries, and fears of the life you are about to embrace. Choosing Single motherhood is the first comprehensive book especially made for single mothers by choice. The book features essential tools needed by moms in taking the big leap. The book is written by Mikki Morrissette, a longtime journalist and single mother by choice.

5. The Complete Single Father: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Situations - Whether you are a widower or divorced dad, single parenting will require you a fast learning curve. Written by a newly divorced dad and by the grandmother of his children, this book is a realistic, yet positive guide that offers information on how a single dad maintain a stable family with less stress involved. The Complete Single Father book contains specific research material from family lawyers, marriage counselors, psychologists, social workers, teachers, and members of the clergy.

Another special feature of this book is the Tips from the Trenches section where divorced or widowed dads share their messes and successes in being single parents.

Single parenting can be a tough thing to face. This is especially true for people who got into the situation by accident and therefore are not yet ready for the responsibility that they will need to assume.  Taking care of a child can be pretty daunting, all the more when this young fellow depends on you for everything—for food, shelter and even education in the future. You have your work cut out for you and for some people this can be pretty daunting.
But don’t get overwhelmed. Like every challenge that you will need to face in life, there are ways to getting around it and finally overcoming it. You may not be a situation that you can solve right off and get rid of but you can certainly make it easier and more manageable. Here are three things that you can do to survive single parenting.

Join a support group

Just knowing that there are people like you who are also going through the same things is very comforting. So check your community for some support group for young single parents like you.

Joining a support group is also a wonderful way to learn from the experience of other people. And because you are still young and are just starting out, having people who have already gone through what you are just going through right now can help you a lot. They can give you advice or refer you to people who can help.

Often people who are in the same support groups also band together and help each other out. It is like having a second family, with people that you can depend on for help.

Have a strong and close relationship with your child

Your child is your partner now. He or she is the only person that you can depend on, the same way that you are the only one he or she can depend on. Establish a close and loving relationship with your child while he or she is still young. You will be glad when you did this when they grow up.

Know your priorities

Be clear on who your priority is and set some ground rules for your behavior. It should be your child of course and maybe your career, which you need in order to provide well for your child. By knowing your priorities and having clear-cut goals, you will be constantly reminded of what you should be doing. This will come in handy during moments when you are tempted to turn back on your responsibility or just give up.

Give yourself time to heal

You have been burned. Don’t go rushing and looking for love right off. Give yourself time to heal and to find yourself again. Going back on the dating scene for the mere reason that you want to find another mate is a no-no. For now, make your child your life and just face that aspect in your life when the right time comes. And when is that? You’ll know when.

Single parenting is one of the most common end results of a failed marriage. For many people, it might seem simple to start a new life and raise their kids after an ended marriage. However, for some it's difficult to achieve these because of so many factors. These would include their different personalities, upbringing of their respective families, and also of their ways in managing stress brought by the failure of the marriage.

Although separation may indeed affect people in raising their kids and to want more things in their lives, this should not be enough reason just to let the chance of living a better life go. If you think that separation and the thought of being a single parent hinder your process to move on, it's now time to consider ways that can help you overcome your fears and will pave the way for successful single parenting.

Focusing on the basics

Being a good parent is instinctive to all parents. However, this innate concern for their kids and raising them well may be affected by the events that have occurred in their lives. Their experiences also hinder them to focus on the needs of their children since they cannot help themselves to overcome their problems in life.

Although painful experiences such as separation greatly affect good parenting, there are always ways to overcome these problems and move on. The first thing that you can do is let the past go. Experts say that the first step to be an effective single parent is to deal with depression caused by separation. By learning to let go of the past, you can accept that there are things that are beyond your control. Once you have accepted this, you will be able to forgive yourself and prepare yourself in becoming a single parent.

Next best thing to do is to try to set your own pace. Although it is sometimes good for others to have fast recovery to be able to forget their problems, this is not always healthy says experts because it is only a "band-aid" solution. Many people who face the reality of becoming single parents try so hard to move on by drowning themselves in work. This may work but not for long term goals. Eventually, the person who tries so hard to face the challenges of single parenting becomes so tired and will lead to nervous breakdown. To be an effective single parent, it is best if you set your own pace so you won't get tired. This will also be beneficial for you because you can rest whenever you want to since nobody is breathing down your neck to do things you are not ready to do.

Lastly, the best way to be successful in single parenting is to always think one step ahead and be positive. Since you will raise the child on your own, it would be best to ahead so you will be able to accomplish goals ahead of time. By doing this, you will also have more opportunities to do things properly.